Disconnected from my spiritual self

[Ravenstar]

I've been feeling apathetic, just blah. I feel I can't connect with my spiritual side. I don't feel connected to nature, God...anything. I suffered from depression. I don't feel depressed though. How can I fix this? Merry Part.

[Lord_of_Nightmares]

Well, everything is natural, technically. Even things like this computer I am typing on.

But, I am a bit in the fog here, you say you suffer from depression but that you do not feel depressed...? Were you diagnosed? Are you on any medications? If you are, then this could explain some of the feelings and you may want to ask your doctors to switch.

[Myrth]

I am a bit unclear how to interpret your post also. Clarification about what you are feeling could be helpful. But I will share my personal experience with you as perhaps it will help you also. We have had many deaths in our family in recent years. In 2014, my Reiki just STOPPED. I am a Reiki master. Reiki is a huge part of my spiritual practice. And as I grieved, the Reiki would not flow. I wallowed in the darkness for awhile. I sort of gave up on even trying to do Reiki. Then, I decided to pull myself out of it. For my birthday I gave myself the gift of time alone to reconnect.

I lit candles and cast a circle. I got out my drums. I started doing some meditation with drumming. I didn't trance out, but I did start reconnecting. I did an abundance spell. Then I tried doing Reiki. It took some time, but I could feel the energy again. I worked on my chakras, clearing blockages. I felt so much better when I was done. I felt like ME again.

You might give it a try, just taking time alone to reconnect to the things and practices you love. And persist until you get through. Love and light to you.

[Ravenstar]

Sorry for your losses. Yes I am clinicely depressed. I've been on the same med for a long time so it's not that. I just feel tired mentally. I don't know how to get ibspired. But you are right I guess I need to just do it no matter how I feel. Thanks. Blessed be.

[Myrth]

I do not have clinical depression, but I know people who do. It is my understanding from them that after a period of time on a medication it can become less effective. It would probably be a very good idea to discuss your current emotional state with your doctor as your first, most important, step.

[Wandering Warlock]

I feel I can't connect with my spiritual side.

What is your spiritual disposition?

[Vendredi]

Hi Ravenstar. It's very frustrating to feel locked out of such an important aspect of your own self.

Let me first say that I agree with Myrth's suggestion of talking to your doctor about the inefficiency of your current medication. That is an important step.

Shadow work may be beneficial for you. Site Admin Xiao Rong did a thorough post on the subject here: http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... rk#p196537

I think it's hard to feel spiritually healthy if you don't love yourself, and depression can definitely interfere with and undermine your sense of self-worth. And from my own experience, medication will only carry you so far. You have work to do, but I KNOW that you can do it. I believe in you.

And the final point I want to make right now is just keep at it. Spiritually, what practices sound inviting to you? Do them till you feel you're getting somewhere. I personally would caution against much spellwork until you feel more connected and whole. And don't beat yourself up if it's not working as quickly as you wish.

And a quick little edit to add that apathy can be a symptom of depression.

[Wandering Warlock]

Shadow work may be beneficial for you.

Always a good idea.

To note, a most excellent text on this is Meeting The Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature, by Connie Zweig. It is a compilation on the subject which highlights many insights from psychological pioneers of "Shadow work," which is considerably less dry than many other books I've read on the subject.

[Ravenstar]

Thank you all so much. I can't wait to start on the shadow work. Blessed be.

[Ravenstar]

Thank you all so much. I can't wait to start on the shadow work. Blessed be.

[Ravenstar]

Ok, so I need more help with the shadow work. The person that bugs me has exactly the same qualities I did when I was her age. I already know that. Than what? What do I do with the feelings? Just accept it and be like ok? Blessings.

[Wandering Warlock]

When it comes to shadow work, don't expect easy or quick resolution. It may take years of meditation on yourself to gain any valuable insight into the deeper reasons. However, keep in mind that this may not be a valid path for the problem you are facing. It was only a suggestion, since we don't really fully know what your problem is.

While you mentioned you were spiritually disconnected, you didn't mention someone bugging you earlier in the thread, so that's news to me and it comes with its own set of issues.

Are you feeling spiritually disconnected because of this person who bugs you? Or have you determined that this is a symptom of being spiritually disconnected? Also, it would be helpful if you'd tell us what your spiritual nature already is. In other words, how do you define spirit? What do you believe in? Or is this less an issue of being spiritually disconnected, and more an issue of uncertain beliefs? Any clarification would be beneficial to any advice we might offer.

[Vendredi]

When it comes to shadow work, don't expect easy or quick resolution. It may take years of meditation on yourself to gain any valuable insight into the deeper reasons. However, keep in mind that this may not be a valid path for the problem you are facing. It was only a suggestion, since we don't really fully know what your problem is.

While you mentioned you were spiritually disconnected, you didn't mention someone bugging you earlier in the thread, so that's news to me and it comes with its own set of issues.

Are you feeling spiritually disconnected because of this person who bugs you? Or have you determined that this is a symptom of being spiritually disconnected? Also, it would be helpful if you'd tell us what your spiritual nature already is. In other words, how do you define spirit? What do you believe in? Or is this less an issue of being spiritually disconnected, and more an issue of uncertain beliefs? Any clarification would be beneficial to any advice we might offer.

This.

[Ravenstar]

Ok. I meant the shadow work. I already know who to do it on. That doesn't have anything to do with my de]ression. I guess I just feel tired and burnt out. I am catholic and have felt drawn on and off to wicca for years. I first found out about witchcraft then years later wicca. I guess I'm trying to find a belief system. I still believe in God though so I'm trying to combine them. I just feel like on my own in this. The last time I was into Wicca I felt drawn to nature, drawn to much of it. But now Idont. I don't feel drawn to nature anymore or anything. Not even God. I just feel like a teenager again feeling like I have to hide this from people. I have a son who is three. I already feel like we are going to have an uncertainty when he gets older with schooling and friends since we are a same sex couple. I just feel uncertain about things. So therefor I worry and I just feel mentally exhausted.

[Vendredi]

I suggested shadow work as it has been tremendously healing for me. It's also been difficult and taken years YEARS of effort to get where I am... and I'll never be done! But I'm okay with that.

Everybody goes through periods of exhaustion and feeling kind of blah. I believe that part of learning to live a meaningful life is learning to keep working away, and seeking beauty and meaning especially when it just ain't easy. It's a challenge, because life is a struggle. I think modern humans tend to forget that.

I felt lost, searching for answers, until I learned that they were already with me. I just had to listen. The same is true for you. Clear out the clutter, and you will find your way. You say you don't feel connected to anything...I'll just say again (for the last time, I promise!) that apathy and depression can go together.

Finally--why do you feel you must hide who you are? Why do you even need to identify with a label, just to worry how others will perceive that label? I am not trying to be confrontational... and please don't feel that you must answer me. Just trying to provide some food for thought. I wish you the best. I know you can beat what it is that's got you down.