Two questions about a spell and accusations towards me

[Brittanypatrice7]

OK, so my first question is about a spell. I finally had one backfire on me the other day, because the brand new candle I bought had already been burned but I used it regardless. Bad idea. I cast a spell using only a candle and words to get someone to think about me. It was NOT a love spell, more so just what its named. There's a man I'm in love with that is not my boyfriend and I cant stop thinking about him. I thought if I cast the spell he might think of me so much that he would be mean to me and maybe I could get over him. We are not allowed to talk because of my boyfriend and his girlfriend. Now I not only think of him, I wake up crying from dreaming about him kissing me and I get sad when I wake up and he's not really there so it's time to try another method. Are there any spells I can use to make myself stop thinking about him or even caring about him? It's quite torturous.

My next question is:
My boyfriend accused me of satanism this morning as I told him I don't necessarily believe in what he believes (extreme christianity) NOT that there's anything wrong with it. I grew up with those beliefs but it changed. I told him that it's not something I'd like to talk about but he insisted it's a talk we have to have so my question is, what do I say? I'm a closet witch, if anyone besides my sisters found out they would all literally have nothing else to do with me. I'm wiccan all the way, but I can't just tell him that. So I thought I would ask advice on it. Thanks for reading and helping me out!

[Silversong]

First question:
Yep, that was probably not your best move. Honestly, I doubt it was even the pre-burnt candle, though that might have been a part of it. It was probably just the universe being rather pointed about telling you that wasn't the way to go about solving your problem. Influencing someone else's thoughts, in my opinion, infringes on free will.
For a spell to help stop thinking about him, I would suggest a cutting-the-ties type spell, which usually involves a cord or string charged with your thoughts of him and the action of cutting that cord, symbolically cutting the bonds between you to end a harmful relationship. I strongly suggest looking through the spells section of this, or making a spell request in the appropriate forum, to find such a ritual.
I might also suggest, for the action to back up that spell, this: when you catch yourself drifting toward the thoughts of him that you don't want, picture a blue pony. Focus on your blue pony - its sounds, smells, movements, what it's doing. It doesn't really matter what it is, but a blue pony is the sort of thing that's easy to think about and won't cause any subconscious connections to an existing thing.

Second question:
Ah, the broom-closet dilemma. Almost all of us have had to face this and situations like it at one point or another, myself included. I will say this: My fears that people would shun me for my beliefs are being proven wrong. My community is very Christian, and I was very hesitant about letting people know about my beliefs, but I'm finally starting to let people outside my closest-circle (in other words, my family-in-all-but-blood) know, and the reactions have been far more favorable than I expected.
Your boyfriend, however, may be a different story. Having had experience with extreme, "my-way-or-the-high-way" Christians (my so-called best friend for a long time, though I realize now she wasn't a very good friend at all...), there's probably little you can do to change his mind about the Craft if he's really, 100% set on hating it. "It is hard to fill a cup that is already full," to quote Avatar. The fact that he wants to talk about it, however, is a good sign. And he's right - it's a talk you're going to have to have with your romantic partner at some point. The Craft is part of who you are. If he can't accept that, then do you really want to spend your life with him?
Have the talk with him. Start out carefully; try to gauge his reactions and respond appropriately. Ask him before you start to let you finish before he starts talking. I've found there's truly no easy way to say it, so just take a deep breath and say it with me: "I'm Wiccan." Explain that Wicca is NOT Satanism, that it is NOT devil worship, and that it is NOT harmful in any way to others. Explain the Rule of Three and the rule of harm none, including the ban on will control. Explain that your beliefs are in no way exclusive to his, that you don't expect him to change his beliefs for you and that you hope he won't expect you to change your beliefs for him. I'd suggest explaining that all fairly quickly, probably in no more than three sentences each, and in rather simple terms, so he doesn't get overwhelmed, but try to touch on all those points. Answer any questions he has that you're comfortable with. If you feel it heading into a religious fight with him trying to convert you back to his path, remind him gently but firmly that you've made your decision and that you feel this is the right path for YOU - not necessarily him, but you - and that you don't expect him to change his beliefs for you, and you hope he won't expect you to change your beliefs for him. In the end, the ball is in his court, and it's his decision what he does with it.
If he decides to accept you, and follows up on it, then all's well with the world.
If he decides not to accept you, then I strongly suggest leaving him. As I said - do you really want to spend your life with someone who won't accept you for who you are?
There is, however, a more complicated case: if he says he will accept you, but goes on with his actions to continue trying to convert you or force you to accept his ideals as your own. If this happens, leave him. It's worse than saying he won't accept you to say he will and then actually continue to try and change you.

And, oh, by the way - let us know how it goes, would you? :3 We're here for you.

[Brittanypatrice7]

Thank you SO very much. I will let you know most definitely!!

[Silversong]

No problem. Hope it helps. Best of luck.

[Brittanypatrice7]

I told him I'm wiccan, he accepted it surprisingly. Apparently his brother is wiccan as well, something I wish I'd have known. I also opened up about my feelings for another man and he understands. He has since taken my mind off of that man, and made me realize he is my best friend. He also asked me to marry him.

[Silversong]

Ah! *hugs* Considering the smiley face, I take it you said yes. Congratulations! I'm glad he took it so well; I told you reactions in my experience are often far more favorable than expected. Not that there aren't exceptions to that, but I'm glad your story wasn't one of them :3

Think about popping over to this thread to share the story and read others' broom closet stories (including mine XD). See you around the site!