Honoring the Passing of a Loved One

[Aceso]

How do witches honor the passing of a loved one? I just lost a family member(grandfather) and even though he is a christian he was very good to me. He was 98 years old when he passed away. I there something I can do?

[Xiao Rong]

Hi Acesco, I'm very sorry for your loss. We all honor the passing of loved ones differently ... here is a ritual I composed after my friend passed away, based on Chinese folk religious practices I've observed in my family.

I also cannot recommend highly enough the book The Pagan Book of Living and Dying, by Starhawk. She recommends, if the death was recent, that we spend the first 3 days after a death to take care of the deceased's body (holding a vigil, burying it, etc.). The next 3 days should be dedicated to expressing grief for the deceased (or taking care of those who are grieving); the next 3 days should be slowly readjusting to normal life. For the first moon cycle, she recommends that one light a candle every night in the deceased's honor and abstaining from one habit every day (e.g. abstaining from wearing red for the first month or getting a haircut -- at the end of the moon cycle, you should make it a point to pick up the habit again), For the first sun cycle, lighting a candle for the deceased every new moon. On the first Samhain after the death, she recommends building an altar to the deceased. (this is, of course, just a suggested timeline, but it seems very beautiful; I hope to adopt it in my practice)

[Aceso]

Thank you for answering my post. It was very help full.

[Firebird]

I'm sorry for you loss Acesco,
I tend to make an Altar in their honor, with a pic an items either that belonged to them or had special meaning to them. Then I will leave food and drink offerings from whatever I am eating on a special plate on the Altar, diposing the previous goodies in the garden. Also keep a candle there to light fo a few moments a day while you send good thoughts their direction, and remember how this person had impacted your life. If you can burn an incense at that time helps to facilitate any messages you would like to send. In my husbands Japanese family they do this for 7 ...7 days which is what ..48 days? But 2 weeks would probably be long enough. Then do this again at Samhain
bb, Firebird

[Aceso]

Thank you for that firebirdflys. That is enlightening. 48days is a long time.

[LiebeUndLicht]

Xiao Rong and firebirdflys have pretty much said all that I was going to say. I'm really sorry for your loss, though, I promise it gets easier even if it doesn't seem like it now.

[Aceso]

Thank you LiebeUndLicht