A Question About Handfasting

[Avlad of the Phoenix]

Merry Meet and Blessed Be,
My fiance' and I are planning our Handfasting in December. The question I have is this:
I am a Wiccan Sage and creator of my own Wiccan Tradition.
My fiance' is a practicing Wiccan and preparing to become a High Priestess.
Would it be proper for the two of us to perform our own Handfasting Ritual or should we try to find another High Priest and High Priestess to do this for us. The reason I ask this is that I live in an area where practicing Wiccans are scarcer than hen's teeth and my fiance' lives in an area where outright hostility toward Wicca is the rule rather than the exception. PLEASE HELP US!!!!!

Blessed Be and Merry Part,

Avladphoenix

[Dancing_Moon_Child]

Welcome to the forum. I'm sure your knowledge will be a help in the time to come.
I looked up your question online and unfortunately I couldn't find an answer. I would suggest your either joining WitchVox or if you are a member, to go online. Click on your state and on the sidebar they do have a listing for Clergy. Maybe if you contact one of them they would be happy to perform your handfasting ceremony as per your tradition (what a great opportunity for them to learn about your path). You could also call the county clerks office in your county to ask if you can perform your own handfasting with yourself as officiating clergy. The only other option I can think of at the moment is if you can't find a pagan clergy near you or can't perform the ceremony yourself have a private civil service and then a more public handfasting celebration with family and friends.
I'll still continue to search online for other options and will let you know if I find anything more out.
Peace and love and welcome again,
Dancing Moon Child

[morgan]

ive never even hered of Handfasting but i would like to know more

[Mommywitch2]

I love the tradition of handfasting! Congratulations! I think you can do it yourself, I looked in to it for my own wedding, but decided not to do it. I am relatively sure, though, that it is supposed to be a sacred, almost private ritual...I should think it would be ok to do it yourselves, esp. given your circumstances!

[Dubh Barin]

I was handfasted in June 2000 and loved it.. It was a beatiful experience.. It really lets you understand how to work together and makes you blush..

[katrebelNY]

could somebody please explain what handfasting is??? how do you do it and what is it for??

[Dubh Barin]

Handfasting is a wiccan wedding ceremony that involves you, your spouse to be and your coven or wedding attendees. In handfasting, you and your spouse's left hands are tied together to each other's using a scarf, rope, whatever you like. Then some ceremonial stuff is said to indicate that both parties are willing for one another to help one another and always be helpful, not hurtfull to one another..

After ceremony is underway and words are said. Both to be spouses' with left hands tied, must start thier first challange in marriage, this is the handfasting ritual. With tied hands, the clergy, hands a loaf of bread to the male partner. He then is told that him and his newly to be wife must figure out how to work together and serve food and wine to one another with hands tied. Both parties have to participate in this.

He and she then figure out in their own ways how to give themselves bread and wine and with their only hand and there spouses only hand they must work together to give the other person food and wine. It is a test to see if both parties can work with one another... Hope this makes more sense. You can find handfasting rituals on the internet through wedding ceremony searches if you want more indepth view on it.

[Starwitch]

Thanks for the explanation Dubh. I had no idea that's what it involved.

[moonlit]

I have a question about it as well.. I was wondering if a high priest and priestess had to preform the handsfasting. Around where I live you cant really find any other wiccans, so it would be like impossible to get a high priest and priestess. So could like, a male and female friends preform it or what? Cuz i had a freind who was going to have one and she wanted me to preform it but I have no clue if that would have even been possible.

[Dubh Barin]

you need to be a clergy person for that. We were intially going to have a good friend whom also was clergy do it, but it didn't pan out. There is wiccans around, just look for religous covens. A coven is a wiccan circle of members. I am sure that you can find one within 20 miles of you. They usually will do the service for little or no charge. Usually the families give the coven clergy small cash bills once the ceremony is complete as a token of there thanks for proforming the ceremony.

If you need help locating a coven, I can try to help. I lived in missouri and there is like only 1 or 2 covens in the area I lived in, which was very highly christian areas..the bible belt is what they call it... let me know..

[moonlit]

I can just about bet my life on the fact that there IS NOY a coven withing 20 miles of me... I live in a VERY small town and the other towns around me are small. There are no other wiccans where i live and if there are they keep it very secret.

[Dubh Barin]

you will just have to search them out... sometimes you can talk to people at head shops, piercing & tatoo shops, alternative medicine, metaphysical shops, friends etc.

You just have to try, they are there and even if they are hidden, they will leave clues for you to find there businesses and religon.

If you are too scared to attempt to find them look on the internet for the nearest large city and see if one could travel to where you are for a little extra. I mean, a handfasting is like a wedding it takes a little extra money to do what you need to make the day special.

If no luck, tell me and I can try to locate one for you close by...Even I lived in Springfield, MO. the only other big cities close by me were Kansas City and St. Louis. But even in my small small college town, I was able to find a coven there. trust me, there out there..

[Guest]

Moonlit, were in Ohio do you live?

[moonlit]

im about 2 hours away from Columbus

[Dubh Barin]

I actually have a friend that moved recently from columbus to New York. I could ask her if she knew of anyone close by within 2 hours.