My Journey (Broken2nite)

[Broken2nite]

I've been on this site for a while and I must say that the things that I've learned here have certainly helped me. I was told that I would walk a spiritual path a while back, and I wasn't quite sure what this lady had meant by that, but now I think I have a better idea.

I'm not sure how many Christians post on this site, but as far as I've seen, I'm the only one. I've refraimed from mentioning my path on here because from what I've read from some posters, some folks don't have too high of an opinion about Christians, and honestly, I don't blame anyone.

I haven't stepped foot in a church in years and I'm not sure if I will ever go back, though my pursuits in the paranormal area may pull me back. I'll just have to see what the future holds. But really, I am a Christian as in I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for me, but I'm not the type of Christian that sits in a pew pretending to be holiar than thou and condems others who are different.

I believe that every single walk of life has merit and I will never tell anyone "you're going to hell for being different than me" because that's ridiculous. One thing that Christians are taught is to "judge and be judged," but some people don't like to follow that. I'm not God, so I have no right to tell anyone that they are wrong, because I just don't know. To say that people who are non-Christian are going to hell is practically saying Gandi went to hell and Hitler went to heaven. That's stupid.

My reasons for being on this site is simple: Research and Curiosity. I'm a writer, and I want to write a book about Wiccan and Vampirism, and I want it to be as accurate as possible. I would love to go to college to study the paranormal, but I live in Texas ,and as far as I've seen no colleges in Texas offer classes (Bible belt, what can I say?) and so I'm looking for info, because just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean i don't believe in the paranormal.

I really want to be a paranormal investigator, and a demonologist. But that's a very tough field to break into, especially in Texas. And I'm not Catholic, so that makes the demonologist thing impossible unless I pretty much convert (what the information I've gathered on it anyway). I believe in spirits, energy, and believe that the things that Wiccans/Pagans practice and believe in is very real, and I'm not going to lie and say I haven't dabbled. I just don't mess with things I know I cant handle.

I've been told I'm on a path of a Christian/Wiccan, but I'm not sure the two can excist together. My belief as a Christian is firmly established within me. I had to learn what I believed the hard way because I've never been the type of person that can be raised into a belief. Some of the values and things my parents raised me with stuck, and some things I couldn't bring myself to believe. It was the same way with my becoming a Christian. I was raised in a church, and I made the decision to stop going, but I continue to believe in Christ as my savior. In a way, my belief system is complicated, and in another way its very simple.

God gave everything a footprint, and magick is real, and maybe its just something I'm not meant to jack with. That's fine. I don't know what I'm trying to say, but oh well. Anyway, I'm gonna go for now, this post is long enough.

Briste

[Broken2nite]

Lately I've been very conflicted when it comes to what I want for my future. It seems that my spiritual path will forever intertwine with all the other paths I walk in this life, and sometimes that's hard for me to deal with.

I always thought that my calling was to be a writer. I love to write, and not to toot my own preverbial horn, but I'm not half bad. I'm a good poet and love writing fiction *though I've yet to complete a project, but I'm working on it* and that's what I always thought I would do with the rest of my life. In fact, that love is partly what brought me to this forum to begin with.

I have an excellent idea for a series of books about Witches and Vampires, but I didn't want it to be the fake Witches that give the real ones a bad name, or the vamps that are immortal and cant go out in the day time and stupid crap like that. No flying Witches in my book unless your astral traveling! I want it to be realistic as possible, very close to the pagan practices I've read here, including Vampirism. That is, if I ever get around to writing it.

Now that I'm learning more, the more I want to have something to do with Paranomal investigation. There are paranmoral investigators and occultists, so I know this is possible, but I just don't know how to break into this field. At the college I attend they don't exactly offer Witchcraft 101 or even Parapsychology. I live in the Bible belt, what can you expect really?

I would catch so much hell from my family members, but I don't even care. I'm a Christian, why do I have to constantly prove that to them? Just because I am interested and find real value in the Occult and Paranomal doesn't mean I'm turning my back on my beliefs. Just being open to others beliefs as well, that's all.

I'd really love to become one of the only non-Catholic Demonologists...but that takes someone very very very strong. I mean, seriously, you face down demons. You HAVE to be strong. Not sure I could handle it. And I'm not converting to Catholosism. Nothing against it or anything...I've just heard rumors

Anywho---tonight I had my first real meditative experience, and that's very exciting for me! I felt energy as if it were breath outside my body. I loved that feeling. I also did a Tarot reading aftweard that I felt very good about. I'm very excited! I feel very much more intune with myself right now.

And now I'm about to go get intune with my pillow. It's nearly four in the morning and I'm exhausted. I have a bachlorette party to go to tomorrow and I have a feeling that's going to get extremely insane.

My cousin is getting married next week on Saturday, so I'd appreciate anyone sending her positive energy and happy thoughts!

Briste

[webbspinner]

Thanks for the comment on my blog! I can suggest a site for you, iamhaunted.com. It deals with some of the issue in your life. It's a mixed bag of religions, non judgemental. I enjoy the site immensely! Good luck on your path, good thoughts to your cousin.->O<-

[Broken2nite]

The past few days have been pure torture. I got food poisoning from some bad meat at Wal-Mart (DAMN YOU WAL-MART) and I've been feeling quite pathetic these past few days. At least I'm assuming it was food poisoning. I haven't gone to the doctor because I hate going to the doctor, but whatever I threw up smelled like rancid meat, so I'm pretty sure ate something pretty bad.

I can't go to my cousins wedding, however, because 1. In case it isn't food poisoning and actually the flu, if I got her sick she'd freaking murder me. 2. Because I was sick I didn't get to go get a dress and I seriously don't own anything other than blue jeans. 3. I get tired walking from my room to the kitchen, so I don't see myself being up for a wedding plus the reception. I'm just still too weak for that. That's what happens when you barely eat and drink for 3 days.

[juliaki]

Sorry I didn't see this earlier... I'm guessing that you're thinking about writing a fiction book that incorporates vampirism and witchcraft? If so, see if you can find some of the Diana Tregarde series by Mercedes Lackey (some may be out of print, but they're Burning Water, Children of the NIght, and Jinx High). They sound almost identical to what you're planning.

If you're trying to do a nonfiction expose, my advice is to try and do a book on witchcraft or a book on vampirism, but not try to mix the two as that is more material than a publisher would want to tackle. (Case in point, the fairly well-known author Christine Wicker sought out to do just that for her book "Not in Kansas Anymore", and largely dropped the witchcraft slant, focusing more on the marginal aspects of modern society. It's a great book to read if you haven't, yet.)

[jcrowfoot]

My impression is that Broken is writing fiction.. So are ya?

Another book that does the whole wicca thing pretty well is M. R. Sellars, (available only through Amazon) though he's not for the timid. He writes a heady combo of horror, suspense and mystery. If you are prone, his stuff can give you nightmares. Though, I'm not, and I love it!

If you'd like to talk about the challenges of being in a Christian, but believes in other stuff place... I have students in this category, and I'm not ever going to tell you that your path is invalid. I have had some interesting spiritual experiences that mean I can't deny that there are angels or that the Christian belief system doesn't have a presence on the spirit plane.

I would love to help you with your research... and guess what? I'm a writer too! I am also friends with people who are vampires, and I know some really interesting trads that are intersections between the two.

LOL... for what it's worth, my fiance is a Catholic. And he's not AT ALL what you'd expect when you hear that phrase, especially if you were raised protestant (as I was... my grandmother taught Sunday School for 30 + years!). Granted, he doesn't think of himself as a "Good Catholic", but talking to him has changed my perception of his Church... at least parts of it. He's not totally happy with decisions that some of the hierarchy are making right now... but that is a another story.

And I don't think you *have* to be a Catholic to be a deamonologist.. I've heard that free-lance types do exist.

ANYWAY... PM me if you are interested in trading information and in general chatting a bit about the stuff you are dealing with.

Oh, yeah, and I'm hoping to create a bbs-type thing for writers... I'll be posting more in the "web page" section of this site when I have the setup. My fiance is still looking at server options for it...

[Broken2nite]

Christmas is my favorite holiday of the year. I got so sick last week and I was afraid I would be sick on Christmas, but I'm doing much much much better. I was really pitiful.

I've gotten to spend time with all sides of my family, which I'm very happy about. Tonight I went over to my cousin's girlfriends and spent time with the cousins I'm the closest to, so that was awesome! And tomorrow I'm going to go see my grandpa, and I'm definately going to enjoy spending time with him.

Lately I've been dealing with a lot of stuff. Most people would probably view it as "teenage" problems, and I mean maybe it is, I dunno. But tonight I was driving home, listening to music (Disturbed, of all things), and I glanced out my window at the moon and it was like everything just cleared from my mind for one blessed moment. I was so thankful for that one blessed moment...

Happy Holidays everyone

Briste

[Broken2nite]

Wow, I've really neglected this thing. My apologies. I haven't been home since the day after Christmas actually. I went to Dallas to spend some time with friends and ended up staying longer then I thought I would. I had an amazing time, met some new awesome people, and am in much better spirits then when I first left. A small vacation away from the hell I call my home town was exactly what was needed!

Sorry this is going to be quite short. I don't really have much to report in on, except Sobek's tarot reading that he did for me seems to have worked out!!!!!

[Broken2nite]

It's been a while since I've posted. Lots of things have gone down. O_o

I started back to school. My last semester at the college I'm at then I transfer. Hopefully to UNT, a bigger school and hopefully more open minded folks! Biology is going to kill me slowly though. I want to jump on top of a desk, wave my book around, and scream "I DON'T CARE ABOUT PHOTOSYNTHESES! I DON'T MAKE FOOD WITH SUNSHINE OUT MY ASS" but I digress...

I'm going to make an effort to meditate more. I enjoyed my first two successful experiences so much, but I cant find the time. But I've decided to MAKE time. There is always time to slow down, take a breather, and relax. I think meditation may help me open up my weird little sixth sense thingy. I've decided I want to work on that more. I think I'm gonna post about it in the Divination section, just to get some feedback on if people think it's anything weird or if I'm imagining it or what. I dunno.

Uhm well, something that is completely random---I have a boyfriend for the first time in almost two years, and now I have found myself in the middle of a love triangle. As in, there are two guys after me, I have feelings for both guys, and have no idea what on earth to do about it. Typical teenage problems right? pfftt maybe for someone else. I've NEVER had this problem, so I have no idea how to approach it. Maybe I ought to post that in the Love section?

Hmm what else to update on. I'm reading a book called The Blue Girl by Charles de Lint, and I'm very impressed. I enjoy his writing style, his sense of humor, and character development. All marks of a good writer. I think I'm going to start reading his novels.

My own stories are kinda on hold Biology is sucking the life out of me.

Alright, it's night night time. Gotta be up in 5 hours!

[Broken2nite]

Well well well, look who's back! I swear, I didn't die or anything. Just sorta fell off the face of the earth and got lost in love, school, and good friends! The computer and almost all of my dealings with it (except, sadly, for Myspace) have been put on hold.

I've returned to church! Well, sorta. My boyfriend Curtis has been taking me to church with he and his family, and I can't say that I absolutely hate it. Do I like getting up early on Sunday? No I do not. But maybe it's worth it. I duno.

So, I finished up the semester a few weeks ago, but unfortunately will not be transferring to a larger college. I'm waiting until I graduate.

On a better (and more witchy) note!!! I am in the begining stages of the Witch/Vampire series! I'm gathering up research, creating characters, and all that good stuff! I'm going to be refrensing this site in my books (if their published) and am definately going to give it a shameless plug!

I'm not sure how long it is going to take me to finish book 1. A long time prolly. If anyone has any advice or insight for me, let me know!!!!

Alright, my boyfriend seemed to disappear, so I'm going to go find him real quick. I'm pretty sure he and my mother are in the living room playing Guitar Hero.

Love to all & Blessed be-Briste