My Friend Is Having Family Troubles

[[Haley]]

Monica (my friend) sent me an email. Here's what she wrote:

'My sisters want me gone,out of the house,DEAD...stuff like that and it's pissing me off!!!!!!!and Catherine is talking to Evan now and Evan doesnt even want to and shes taking him away from me!!!!!!AND IM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!!!!i want out of this house so bad you dont know how much!!!Melissa told one of Catherines friends that if they ever come over here then take me with them and i was at the computer at the time and i said "WHAT ABOUT MONICA!!!!" and all they did was look down and laugh!!!!omfg HALEY im so on the erge of just running away...that or im really close to calling Social Security!!!!that way they can take me to another state to live!!!!!!OMFG im so mad right now my sister is taking all my friends away and i hope she dies!!!!!!!!!!!!!omfg i cant stop shaking!!!!OMFG i cant stop writing OMFG!!!!Haley i just want to die right now!!!!!!!im so pissed!!!!!!OMFG'


Then I told her- well tried to....the message wouldn't send- this:

'It's okay....calm down....take a deep breath and think about this rationally. Have you talked to your parents about this- more specifically your dad? Running away won't solve anything. Schedule an appointment with the guidence counselor- if that's possible- at school and talk to her about it and maybe she can help resolve things somehow. Calling social services will help you get out of there properly, but it still won't help you and your sisters work things out.


P.S. I hate your sisters a well.'


I don't know if I gave the right advice or if I should just stay out of this. Her sisters have done MANY bad things to hurt her and make her feel worthless and unwanted. That is not a good environment for Monica to live in.

[Eretik]

Your advice sounds good to me Haley. I think talking to your friend is good as it gives her a chance to vent, if nothing else - that's very important.

[Sobek]

wow, i'm glad barely anyone speaks to me.

your advice seem grounded and very logical, your friend sounds like she's on the verge of a panic attack. she really needs to get over the crap with the sister, as much of a bitch as she appears to be, and concentrate on her own well being instead of the melodrama.

[Suki1016]

Your advice sounds as good as any. I don't think moving would be the best idea because it just shoves the problem away instead of getting rid of it. I really hope that her and her sister can work something out. Maybe her sister can leave instead of her. She seems like the root of the problem.

[Sercee]

I don't know anyone's ages in this situation, but when I was younger I was really mean to my little sister. I'm not even going to say some of the things I did to her. When I moved out, within a month I realized I missed her and since then I've pretty much been her number one fan. A lot of people just eventually grow up, though. If your friend keeps a level head around her sister and more or less shrugs off what she says and does she'll have a huge advantage. Even if she just acts like that's what she's doing (obviously it's very difficult to just ignore this kind of thing) she can calmly confront her sister later in a more neutral situation.

Most sisters, no matter how bad it was, eventually get to be good friends. I regret a lot of the things I did to mine, but we've spoken about it and she forgives me now.

[[Haley]]

Thanks everybody!

She is definately on the verge of a panic attack. It's very hard for her to get over what her sisters are saying. I've been around them and they pretty much hate everybody. The only person in her family that doesn't hate her is her dad. Even her mom yells at her for just breathing! I know that she's telling the truth because I heard her on the phone yelling at Monica for something REALLY stupid. They scare me!

And Sercee, Monica is about 13, Catherine is either 14 or 15, and Melissa is think in her 20s. It's so childish of them. They should know better than to say such hurtful words. Jeeze, you seem a bit on the mean side- well at least then anyways. Why did you 'hate' her? I totally agree. Sisters do eventually become friends.

[Sercee]

There is a long story behind why I 'hated' my sister, but it wasn't her fault. All she did was push my buttons (which sisters know how to do) when I was already having a hard time with lots of other things so I took it out on her. I got beat up every day (literally, and right up till high school!) by my classmates, went home feeling weak, scared, helpless, angry and powerless and beat her up. I was also a little jealous of her because she 'got' people better than I did. I can empathize with people more easily, but she was a lot less naive even though she was younger. Hmm... sorry for the life story.

I wasn't so much mean as I was angry and frustrated and I dealt with it badly. I wasn't a very strong person.

I don't really know what else to add for your friend, though. The oldest sister should really know better. I hope things go better for her.

[[Haley]]

Monica's sisters are quite.....how should I put this......DUMB!!!!

Aww, hun I'm soo sorry you got beat up!!!! *hugs* That's just terrible!! Children can be so cruel.....If you don't mind me asking, why did they beat you?

[Sercee]

I think lots of reasons, but I've only figured a couple of them out. I'd rather not go into them, but basically I was the weak link and I didn't have any backup.

[Sobek]

people suck!

[[Haley]]

Aww.....*hugs again* Yes Sobek, people do suck!