How to deal with relatives

[jaybirdblue]

I just wanted some kind of advice on how to deal with relatives on the upcoming thanksgiving holiday. I am currently a closeted witch, not to mention Im also closeted about my sexuality. Im an adult, but my family is very religiously closed minded. My father was even a sunday school teacher. Theyre also kind of emotionally abusive.
Does anyone have any kind of general advice for this. I know each situation is specific, but has anyone else had experience with this kind of thing?

[Becks]

Sure have.

What is your goal? Do you feel the need to share with them, or are you happy to keep your own stuff private and just need techniques for deflecting and holding your boundaries?

Establish your personal goal for family time, and let me know what you are thinking, and we can go from there.

[jaybirdblue]

Well, I DO want them to know about my sexuality. As far as religious belief goes, I just want them to know I don't share their beliefs. I don't know if I need to specifically explain, because I can barely explain them to myself

[Becks]

Are you planning on coming out to them this weekend?

[Becks]

I ask only because if that's what's happening this weekend then that is quite a specific conversation. I don't want to assume what things look like for your family. Coming out is a big deal. As an ally-I believe you have a right to be out and be who you are. That is a basic human right. That being said, I wonder if you have considered coming out in a way that sets you up for success. I don't know you or your family dynamic, will this be a surprise to them, or is this complete news....but perhaps a private conversation with your parents first-would help them? Big family holidays are already 'charged' events. If you have lots of family, and your parents are trying to do some big entertaining thing...that stress might Impinge on your ability to be heard and be successful.

They may or may not have strong feelings about this, and they might need respectful space to process. Is a major holiday the best time?

Only you can answer this.

I have privellage because I am a cis female that identifies that way, and I have only ever had relationships that fall within "societal norms", and so I can't know what it is like to walk your walk; or feel what you must feel.

My hope for you is that you can one day be who you are not fear repercussions and negativity for simply 'being' who the creator/goddess/gods made you.

If you do feel this weekend is the time and you must do this-then I pray for love and acceptance for you. If you don't get that; then I pray for the strength for you to know you are not wrong.

If you decide that this isn't the time and that you will make a plan for later...then I pray you are able to shield yourself and enjoy time with your family. Hold your boundaries and redirect topics that aren't honouring who you are.

This is a time of being thankful and giving thanks for what we have and what we are. I personally choose to awknowledge the indigenous peoples and the fact that we are all refugees.