How do I resist?

[Aesiryth]

Hello everyone,
As some of you may know I am still in high school, but it's my final year. One of my classmates that is new to the school intrigues me greatly. I've never felt anything like it before and at first I thought, you know, I liked her. Something totally normal, but then as the year went by I started getting a different idea. She is literally dubbed the hottest girl in the school, mind you I go to a private school so it's a bit smaller. Every, and I mean every, guy is just falling in "love". I am "friends" with her and she loves the popularity. She acts innocent and acts like she thinks less of herself, but she just eats up that popularity. I don't know what she is, but she is just causing chaos for everyone, guys mostly but also girls. There have been numerous fights over this girl. I have pushed her away a few times and kind of "friend zoned" her, but I come right back. She acts nice to me after I've pushed her away and then I come crawling back and then she treats me like...well...shit. I hate it so much, but I can't resist or at least don't know how. If you any of you could give me some tips on how to resist and maybe if any of you have encountered someone like this you could tell me what they are.

Thanks,
-Aesiryth

[Blackthorn]

To me it seems like she is just a beautiful, young girl who is wrapped up in the politics of high school and her own power that accompanies her privilege. There could be a lot more behind her own personal story.. such as why she left her previous school (maybe this almost reverent treatment she's receiving now is new to her. Maybe she legitimately has low self esteem and she's becoming addicted to the ego boosts.)

What concerns me is how you say she treats you like shit when you're friends again. Maybe your resistance to her can be based on the knowledge that you deserve better from people then for them to treat you with anything less than respect.
Sometimes people just have a charisma that attracts others to them like moths to a flame; unfortunately, it doesn't mean they're good people. I work in an industry with a LOT of these people and many of them have very serious personality flaws beneath their beauty and on-the-surface charm.

Thankfully, she's also very, very young and is still growing and maturing and coming into her own womanhood.

I don't have any spell ideas that could help you, but if you find her to be toxic and unhealthy to be around- maybe you can use this to help you stay away from her. I know it can be hard, especially in an environment like school where no matter what you do, she's still going to be there 5 days a weeks and there's no escaping her presence.

[Aesiryth]

To me it seems like she is just a beautiful, young girl who is wrapped up in the politics of high school and her own power that accompanies her privilege. There could be a lot more behind her own personal story.. such as why she left her previous school (maybe this almost reverent treatment she's receiving now is new to her. Maybe she legitimately has low self esteem and she's becoming addicted to the ego boosts.)

Ah, yes I knew someone would bring this up. That's exactly what my fellow pagan friends thought, but we found out differently. Lately she has been commenting on how beautiful she actually is. Saying her eyes are "like crystals" and saying that she could "rock" the cheerleader outfit which comes with the infamous short skirt. I think you are right about how she could just have a sort of aura that attracts people. Either way it's so hard to resist. It's like trying candy for the first time and seeing it again and when you get close to it, it disappears. I also did some zodiac research, turns out she is a Gemini and I'm a Cancer. And if you know anything about zodiac's you'll know that Cancer is overly attracted to Gemini. But that doesn't explain how every other guy is just breaking legs for her. I don't know, she could have started out not sure about herself, but as people gave her boosts she became a bit corrupt. Or she could be something else.

Oh I forgot to mention, she can see right through people and read their emotions. I, luckily, make myself hard to read so it's not always that she gets some insight on me. She also gets secrets out of people. I can't explain it, but she just makes you want to just spill out secrets, she did this once to me about one of my ex girlfriends. I said a lot and after I was done, it was like I came out of a trance. I knew what I was doing, but I just did it anyway. I don't know, kind of scares me how easy it is for her to do this kind of thing.

-Aesiryth

[Firebird]

well....I'm gonna say watch out, stay clear, you only have a few more months and your free...
The first thoughts that came to my mind are
poison ivy
black widow
trouble maker
Vampire
The fish are many...find someone who doesn't make you feel like shit.
In the meanwhile, speak to her only if spoken to, otherwise give her a WIDE berth until school is out, do not contact her at all, else she'll draw you into her web.
sorry to be so harsh
good luck,
Firebird

[Vesca]

The word that comes to my mind: narcissism.

It feeds its own ego, it is only about one's ego, it fuels its own "glamour" of sorts, and the people who embrace this trait (willingly or otherwise, for whatever reason) become masters at lying and manipulation. Becoming what they think others want to see in order to get what they want. Often it's attention, sometimes it's money.

Everyone has a little bit of narcissism (it's called pride), some people take it to whole new levels and can wreak destruction in the lives they touch with it (clinical narcissists). Your friend sounds like she's somewhere in the grey between the two, and because she is young there is a chance she will hit the "real" world at some point and her perception of herself being a big fish in a little pond will fly out the window when she finds others who are equally as pretty.

If she's treating you poorly, that's enough evidence right there that you should keep your distance. Remember the bad before you divulge personal things, and keep yourself grounded. It's all we can do.

[Aesiryth]

Hm, thanks Vesca and firebird. I hope it is something like narcissism and not something I don't really want to be near like a vampire or trouble maker. Never encountered those kinds of beings, but from the way you said to steer clear of her kind of suggests something negative. I will definitely try to remember to ground. If she is some kind of being other than human, how do I protect myself? I mean, I don't necessarily want to fight because, you know, it's high school. I will definitely do some research on those beings though, and make sure she isn't one of them.

Thanks for the help guys!
-Aesiryth

[Vesca]

I have my own opinions on humans being something "other."

It doesn't really matter, the end result is the same. Ground, shield, keep your distance, and know that it's a temporary thing.

[Xiao Rong]

Just a quick note -- the girl in question may have some narcissistic tendencies and that's good to be aware of (also, I find that most tactics against psychic vamps are helpful against narcissists and sociopaths). But bear in mind that most adolescents are at least somewhat narcissistic in nature, just by virtue of being in a tumultuous time of growth and development -- nothing against you, Aesiryth, just speaking broadly about young people.

As with most toxic relationships, I think the key is detaching yourself, like Vesca said. Some people create a vortex of drama around them for whatever reason (narcissism, just being a teenager, going through a rough time, psychic vamp, etc.), and your job is to do your best not to get sucked in. Maybe that means consciously choosing to keep your distance, or excusing yourself from conversations where you're feeling uncomfortable and like you and she are not on even ground.

My therapist also taught me about this really cool exercise you can do, where you envision your connection to a toxic person like a bright cord of energy running connecting your navels together. Visualize yourself unplugging that connection and letting the cord go. Now, no matter how much she may try to pull you in, you are not tethered to her and out of her control.

[Aesiryth]

That's some really good info Xiao. Thanks for the exercise, I will definitely try that out. As for psychic vamp, I don't know too much about them, but sounds interesting. I might do some research on them.

Anyways, thanks again!
-Aesiryth

[Xiao Rong]

Aesiryth, if you look for "psychic vamp" on Google you'll find a lot of different definitions. There are some people who use it to mean someone who feeds off of energy in a metaphysical way because they can't generate enough of their own; others use it in a more figurative, generalized way to mean pretty much anyone who creates drama and negativity (a metaphor for certain conditions like narcissists and sociopaths to help people understand why they act the way they do). I prefer to use the term loosely because I think that both exist (often in the same body), so just keep in mind when you're researching that some of the advice out there on the Internet may not necessarily address psychic self-defense in the way that witches think of energy manipulation.

[cataluna49]

These people are users. Plain and simple. These people exist in all walks of life, they are at once to be pitied and to be kept well away. These people (at least in my experience) tend to have many deep seated issues with themselves, and they are not the best at expressing any complex emotion. They at once wish to be loved and coddled but on the other hand they want to feel that they are the only ones with power so that no one can ever hurt them. These people tend to have something that just pulls people to them, be it looks, a sad story, etc. These people typically need some sort of professional help, whether they are aware of it or not. Some of them will never get help.

Now, why are we attracted to these people? Why do we go back? There are many answers to this question, so I will give the answers that I have found to be true. 1) Everyone wants to help on some level. When you meet someone you like, you want to help them through their pain, or you want to help make them better. 2) We have been raised in a society that states that people who push you away, pull you back, and treat you badly, but have spurts of intimacy are madly, deeply in love with you, and they need you because they cannot help themselves. And who wouldn't want to be the person to receive special attention from a person that is incapable of showing affection to others? 3) Simple conditioning: if you go through a lot of bullshit to receive one morsel of gratitude, romance, or intimacy from this person that you care about, you will be willing to go through it again and again from this small pay off.

What can you do? My best recommendation that I can give you is to cut these people out of your life as soon as possible. These people just aren't worth it. And they only people that you should allow in your life should be people who treat you with respect, and love. Nothing less. And this is hard, and it will suck for a while, because even when you realize that certain people shouldn't be in your life, it doesn't make your feelings for them vanish.

But it is very worthwhile to do so in the long run, because its amazing to have a life filled with peace, love, and calm when you only allow people to be in your life that bring you these things.

Best of luck.

[Aesiryth]

Thanks for informing me Xiao, saves some time on my part.

It is pretty hard to just cut someone out of your life cataluna. Especially when they are in my grade. That aura too, just is like candy and makes me want to not cut her off. When I'm separated from her, I don't feel that attraction and I think it's easy to push her away, but the moment I see her again I go right back. Frustrates the heck out of me.

Thanks again guys,
-Aesiryth

[AdastraJunction]

I think you need some sort of worry stone and/or protection amulet. Something tangible you can touch when you see her to remind you to keep your distance. I would, were I you, be straight forward with this girl at all times if she is unavoidable. Stand your ground when she is cruel to you and let her know it is unacceptable, no one should be able to treat you in a manner you do not wish to be treated. On the positive side, this is a temporary thing, as you said this is your final year in school and soon she and her torments be nothing but a memory.

[Aesiryth]

True, so true Adastra. I am actually working on making my pentacle a protection amulet of sorts. Hopefully this will help me. Thanks for the confidence

-Aesiryth