Ever appropriate to curse? BF cheated.

[Dita_Aster]

I just found out that the man I was in love with this year lied to me and was cheating on me. He knew that I had a lying and cheating ex and how much it messed me up, and that I didn't want to go through that again with someone else. He swore up and down that he wasn't like that, that he cared for me, saw me as someone to marry, and that I was so special, and it was a lie.

So, is there an appropriate curse that will make him see and understand the pain he caused me? Something that, in the end, would make him a better person and protect other women from his scary, disrespectful behavior? Is it ever appropriate to curse?

Also, is there a spell to help remove all traces of him from my heart? I want to be healed and forget him ASAP without lasting trust issues or fear.

Thanks.

[Heartsong]

Firstly, please let me say that I am so sorry you're going through this, Dita. Many of us have unfortunately been there. Thinking positive thoughts for you.

Secondly, I'm one who believes that there's never a good reason to throw a curse on another person. The potential for negative energy coming back to you is just too great a risk, but that's only my opinion. You could cast a spell of clarity for him, but that won't necessarily make him aware of your pain. People tend to ignore things that they don't want to see. They also frequently find ways to justify their behavior. Unless he's willing to change how he thinks about the situation, the spells will likely have very little effect.

Another possibility would be a binding spell, to keep him from harming others, but in my experience, you'd have to refresh the spell periodically for it to remain in effect. That would be a great deal of time and effort spent on a person you'd rather move on from, and thus I think it would be rather unhealthy.

Thirdly, no, to my knowledge, there is no spell that can completely remove a person from our hearts or our memories. As hurtful as it is, we need those painful experiences in order to learn from them, and hence grow as individuals. The issues of trust and fear that are the results of your ex breaking his word to you cannot, and should not, be simply swept under the proverbial rug and forgotten. That won't make them go away, and in fact, could make it all that more difficult to move on with your life. Believe me, a good cry, spending time with friends, and playing some loud music will do you a world more good. People need to go through the process of grief and anger in order to heal, and the most important aspect of that is giving yourself the time to do so, just like you would do for a physical wound.

That being said, I do often recommend a spell that I like to call the One Big Issue Spell. It's designed to help you start that process. I hope that helps.

[Dita_Aster]

Thanks so much, Heartsong. That is good advice.

[Myrth]

Cut cords. Move on. Look back only to learn what it is that attracts you to men who cheat, so that hopefully you can avoid another similar relationship in the future.

[SnowCat]

Cursing is appropriate if you're talking about using foul language to vent your frustrations. A far more appropriate response would be to move on and do exceedingly well without him. It's also much safer.

Snow

[YanaKhan]

I agree with Snow and Heartsong.
As frustrated and angry you may feel at the moment, everything in life has it's purpose. You may not see it now, but later in life, you'll be glad things happened the way they did. After every storm, there is sunshine. You'll also be glad if you don't do anything you'll regret later. Curses do tend to backfire.
I am sorry you have to go through this experience, but I believe you are strong enough not to do anything foolish.
Be safe.

[Xiao Rong]

As a general rule, the Moderator Team does not condone cursing. Speaking from personal experience, the kind of curse you're asking for ("help him change and see what he did wrong") is virtually impossible. People only change when they want to be changed. I concur with everyone else here; the best revenge is moving on and living well.

[Lillady]

Cursing for such a situation would be wrong. I know you want him to see the light and change but just like Xiao stated that is impossible. I want my husband to stop drinking from morning till night (eventhough he is not abusive and is a good husband) but I cannot change that only he can. Certain situations cannot be controlled and you should never want to try and change someone's will. Try cutting the cords instead and just move on from this. You know you are the better person and he will get his own sort of speak in time I am sure (karmatic law). There are so many other fish in the sea and I am sure your mister right is out there who will not hurt you as this guy has. Take care and Blessed Be.