Help for a spell (healing for an ex) & Permission?

[belladonnapotenta]

I'll try not to go into a long story, but I have an ex whom I would like to continue to be friends with and we have a son together. We spend time as a family quite often, but I'm not looking to be in a relationship with him again because we've tried several times and have always become very negative toward one another. We are finally in a good arrangement for ourselves and as a good influence for our toddler as well, but while I'm not looking to push things further, he is still quite persistent in his attempts to woo me. In fact, he will go out of his way to ask me if I love him while he makes me uncomfortable telling me. I'm very honest with him and we have had several talks about how I do not wish to take things further than where they are right now. I don't enjoy hurting him, and feel horrible about it as his friend, but at the same time I wouldn't be true to myself if I lied.

Anyways, I'm looking for a spell to help him move on but as more of a healing and not banishing because I want to continue our friendship. Things are great right now, and he agrees, although he likes to push for more. And when I decline, he gets hurt. Also, he tends to dwell on the past a lot so I would like to heal any past resentments or anger pent up inside him as well. I know it would be more personal to write my own spell, but I'm still a beginner and have only done one spell in the past, for healing as well, so any guidance for any language/moon phases/candles/runes/etc would be appreciated. <3

Another question to any of you in (or out of) the broom closet. I haven't disclosed my beliefs to my father and my ex for fear of persecution since they are very Christian and against other religions. My brother and best friend know, since I can be open with them.
If I wanted to preform a spell for healing for someone who I can't tell my religious beliefs to, how would I ask for their permission or should I risk not asking?

Thank you for reading and any help you may have for me!

[Vesca]

In my opinion, working spells on someone who is not open to it to begin with is a form of manipulation. Even if it's a healing spell.

If you're insistent on using energy work to try and mitigate your situation, you may want to focus the effects more on the environment and on yourself than on your ex. For example, self-protection to deter unwanted attentions. It really depends on your specific situation.

Sometimes, ex partners really aren't willing to take a hint. When it becomes obsessive, it's time to start considering the reality of the situation and the option that maybe they really aren't willing to stay as friends long-term. It's something that is up to your own judgment and it's more of a personal safety thing than anything else. But it is something to be aware of. If it ever becomes unhealthy for you or your child to be subject to unwanted attentions, you need to be aware of it as it happens. I'm not saying it is there now or that it ever will be there, but it's something to keep in the back of your mind, just in case.

It is possible that time is the real factor here, and after awhile things will simply smooth out and that will be the end of anything beyond platonic friendship. Any spell-work to keep yourself grounded, to create an atmosphere conducive to that end result, and to keep you and yours safe, are good ideas.

As for actually creating a spell, I'll leave that to the more senior members. Since I'm not actually Wiccan.

[Naudia Threng]

Honestly, this isn't what you asked for... But i believe the best course of action would be the non-magical way. Maybe a courage spell, and a gentle friend-zoning.

[belladonnapotenta]

Thank you for your answers and I think I will try some kind of warding off unwanted attention spell instead, with a little bit of faith and time. I felt uneasy doing a spell on someone without their knowledge anyway.

And I appreciate the care, Vesca. It's funny you brought that up since we've had authorities involved between the two of us in the past. I'm a pretty optimistic person though, and things have been working well the past half year, but I always take caution.