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Jealousy stems from fear and overwhelming belief in lack or scarcity. We live on a fertile planet. We have signs of abundance everywhere - in the trees, the ocean, the scurrying animals. This world teams with life and light. Jealousy comes from putting your attention on the shadow, focusing on feelings of smallness or unworthiness or control. Love is illimitable, it naturally flows easily to every corner of the world and yet with shadow, secrets and darkness, love can be twisted into possession and domination.
The Ancient Ones believed that every deity (a deity is a face or aspect of the Creative Source) had both light and dark qualities, just as the earth plane consists of dark and light. Note I'm not saying good and evil, but dark and light. There was no judgment, just an observation of the different sides to the coin. The Ancient Ones didn't have TV or computers - they had the skies and each other and so they became experts at examining human behavior and finding corresponding connections in the natural cycles of the seasons, planetary movement and the constellations. Their deities or Gods and Goddesses took on human qualities, including both dark and light sides, so that the people could better relate to Divine Source. Even Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love and Beauty, has a darker side that holds the space and creates the energy to become obsessed with love, manipulating and forming it to meet our desires, despite whether or not it's a good match or the right time for us.
It's like if you've ever danced around a May Pole or gone square dancing. You have one partner at a time. You accept this partner and this moment in its perfection, then you let go. But when you can't let go... befriending Dark Aphrodite helps us tap into the smallness and darkness and secrets of our unworthiness, desire for control or distrust of love and allows it to transform back to love in light with our attention. When you sit quietly with your need to control, you will activate a feeling of being heard, with the result being that you receive the attention that you needed and the jealousy can begin to fade and dissolve. In your stillness, you will realize that all control is an illusion. Life is always changing; nothing stays the same or can be manipulated into constant stagnation or inactivity. Jealousy is an attempt to hold something against you so that it loses its ability to be truly alive. Love needs to move and be free, not be constrained. And so comes the time to trust that life is moving you towards love, whether it's the thing or person you desire or something even better.
Find an image of Aphrodite and place it on a red cloth on your altar. Put a shell in front of Aphrodite. Light a candle and say,
I welcome Aphrodite, Goddess of Love and BeautyPlace the candle on her right side, so that a shadow falls across the Goddess about halfway. Cut a pomegranate in half. As you squeeze the juice of the pomegranate into the shell, say
Please accept my offering of
pomegranate, a precious fruit
So that I may learn the difference of love, in flower or root
A reason, a season, a lifetime are the stages of love
May I accept all relations as gifts from above.
And not bind myself to any one person or thing
I accept the offers of love and beauty that you bring
Knowing that true love is the dance of two open spaces
I open my heart to receive love in all places
Place the squeezed pomegranate on Aphrodite's left side to represent all the love that you have received. Place the other side of the pomegranate on her right side to represent all the love that is yet to come to you and the abundance with which you can share your love with the world. Sit with your feelings of jealousy or smallness. Breathe through it. Repeat the phrase above as often as you need to until you notice that the light begins to ease darkness.
Jamie Martinez Wood teaches workshops, leads retreats, and gives performances on personal power, seasonal living, the faerie essence of herbs and ritual ceremony. She conducts classroom visits and assemblies on writing, publishing, and self-esteem.
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