Depression, PTSD and low self esteem

[MysticDreamFaerie]

My doctors tried to diagnosed me with bipolar disorder: all I have is depression and anger. I'm angry because I see everyone around me happy. I live in a horrible environment with my parents and I'm trying to get out, it's really hard right now because I'm on disability. This year has been really hard on me: I had precancer on my cervix, kidney stones and I was in an abusive relationship. A lot of my friends abandoned me and keep telling me to get over it and it's making me really depressed. I feel like I'm crazy and I feel like nobody wants me to be around me because I'm always sad.

People pick up on my sadness and get really worn out by my energy. It makes me feel horrible. When people want to leave, it makes me feel ten times worse and I feel like they're trying to leave to get away from me because of my sadness. I know it's not true, my mind isn't right with all my sadness and overwhelmness right now. I cry over the smallest things because of my depression and I never used to be this way. Feel like such a burden on people.

Today I looked up a low self esteem book and a highly sensitive person book. I may even look up: empath book as well because I pick up environments and whenever people yell or scream it affects me deeply. I'm so tired and drained right now and I hope someone can talk to me right now. I talked to my therapist and it made me feel a lot better. I just get a lot of beneficial information from books.

[SpiritTalker]

Hi Mystic etc. I have depression too, and it's crap. It started in my teens and it wasn't diagnosed until my 30s. I'm now over 60. It's been a heckuva ride. I have to remind myself it's a chemical thing in the brain and it most definitely is not who I am as a person. I work hard at a sense of humor. That helps a lot.

so, I'm here to talk to ya. What's on your mind?

[Firebird]

Hi dear, sorry to hear your not feeling well.
Abusive relationships can really change your brain. Have you been able to find a domestic abuse counseling group? I cannot stress enough the importance of sharing in a group setting with others who have been through that. Ask your counselor for resources. It will really help.
Pm me if you like.
Bb, Firebird

[Kassandra]

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I hope things slowly start to turn around for you. Wishing you the best.




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[FlyingPeregrine]

Hey - I also suffer from the same issues. It will get better. I also was diagnosed as bipolar but that isn't the case or else the antipsychotics would have not made things worse. I have suffered lifelong trauma from parents and an ex boyfriend. I completely feel for you and hope things turn around soon.

[moonraingirl]

Yes, I also suffer from this. We have to be strong and really just talking about it and acknowledging helps. I used to think I'm totally hopelessly crazy, I didn't understand what's happening to my mind. I even thought I was possessed. But actually, just identifying the problem and seeing you are not crazy, you just had life experiences that affected you is healing and relief in itself.

[Ashrend]

Know how you feel to an extent, had depression on and off since I was 18 and I'm 27 this year. Can be an uphill struggle that makes you feel isolated and that you belong in an asylum. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to pm me any time x