I consider myself bisexual, hate from gay and bi friends

[Victoria Mnemosyne]

I consider myself to be bisexual. I've never come out, except to a few close friends, a past and my current boyfriend. I've recieved a LOT of negative feedback, what I can only call "hate", from a lesbian friend, and from my bisexual girl friends.
They feel that I am not a "real" bisexual because I have no experience with women. They also express the opinion that I'm just "acting bi" because "guys think it's hot"
This may be a little TMI, but I can always remember being attracted to girls. When I first began masturbating, one recurring fantasy was about a female classmate.
It hurts that I've recieved this feedback, and it also made me question myself. Do I have any right to consider myself bisexual? If I'm more attracted to men, or prefer men, am I still bi, or straight? I'm having a very hard time dealing with my identity because of this.

I may also add, that my parents do NOT accept or approve of any non-traditional sexuality or gender identity.

[arpgme]

It doesn't matter whether they believe you are a "real" bi-sexual or a "fake" one. You don't have to prove anything to them and what business does your friends have meddling in your sexual life anyway? As for your parents, I dunno.

If you are confused about sexuality you should Google Kinsey Scale. It talks about human sexuality more or just take the test and you can have a clear answer.

[Traumwandlerin]

I guess you are still in your teens? Many people are confused and want to defend their role at this age, this would explain the hate. They want to show how real they are and they do this to show how you aren't real.

And they are probably right, when they are saying you can't be sure you are really bisexual when you don't have any experience and are still in your teens. You probably are, but really, maybe you just fantasized a bit (I did this, I considered myself bisexual until I had real experiences with a woman. Really, those things can happen ^^). So why not go along with the term "bicurious"? This wouldn't offend your bisexual and lesbian friends as much and it says "I think I'm bisexual but I had no real experience so far, but I would like to have", which is the truth, isn't it?

But you are still bi if you prefer one gender over another or just have sexual but non-emotional relationships with one gender. You can be a real bisexual without any experience but you can also be mostly straight and only fantasizing with no real experiences. But you probably need experience or a few more years to be sure what you are.

[Victoria Mnemosyne]

I'm not confused in the sense I think you mean... I KNOW that I'm attracted to men and women.
I'm trying to reconcile this fact with different classifications: would bisexuals consider me bisexual, or not?
Why is it that every straight person I've told considers me bisexual, but bisexuals and gays consider me straight??

[TheBlackDahlia]

The only person on this entire earth who can decide what you are is you. I can understand that it hurts that people are telling you what you can and can't be, but at the end of the day, they're not the ones that are going to decide what you are.

Just because a girl is a virgin when she's eighteen doesn't mean that she doesn't like men, or women. I think the logic that you 'don't know' if you haven't done anything is flawed.

[JBRaven]

I have found that the bi sexual comunnity as a whole are looked down on as being confused. You are not alone in this. I have had long term female partners, but it just so happened that I married a male. I have been told that I took the easy way out. I have also been told I am not bi sexual at all, just a girl who expiremented. So if you are attracted sexually to both "Jay and Jane" who cares.

I have a great rule that has kept me out of some crazy drama: If I am not f*cking you; I don't care.

It is no one business what you do in bed (or the shower, a tree, ect.ect.) or not do in bed.

[Victoria Mnemosyne]

thanks guys, that really made me feel better.
that's exactly how I feel. I would NEVER tell a gay person that they're "not gay just confused" or "just trying to rebel against their parents" or any of the other nasty things people say. I don't see why some gays treat bisexuals badly. It hurts that these are friends of mine.
Also, I think that it's important to have solidity within out community. We get enough opposition from close-minded people, we don't need divisions and hate within our own community.

But thanks very much, especially Raven and BlackDahlia. It really helps to hear that whatever I feel I am, is what I am.

[nature_in_control]

I told a couple of people, one of which is bi, that I am bisexual and they say they have known for a while. If they think that your not, who cares? if you are psoitive that you are bi, just don't let that fact stop you and others getting along.

blessed be,
nature_in_control

[Sythan]

Goddess forgive me for saying this but f*ck them. They have no right to say you are real or fake. I consider myself Bisexual, but I dont see a gender when I look at someone, I see a Personality. If you like both, you are bi, plain and simple.