How to punish/curse someone who hurt a loved one?

[jazzwest]

I am currently in a long term relationship with a girl I love so deeply and we have been talking about settling down at some point in the near future. However, she suffers from several mental illnesses as a result of trauma in the past. The trauma that is the most difficult for me to accept/deal with is that she was raped 3 times by 3 different people throughout her life. She currently seeks therapy but it has been ongoing for years now.

1. by another student when she was 12
2. by a stranger who dragged her into an alleyway in 2013
3. by a stranger who drugged her and she woke up in an alleyway in 2014

These incidents happened before we even met, but to this day it hasn't left her and it's extremely difficult for me to accept that my beloved wife-to-be was violated/penetrated by 3 rapists. It's not fair that our relationship is affected because of these 3 low lives.
I know there is nothing I can do to change the past, but I wish for these 3 men to be punished and get what they deserve, at least it will give me peace of mind knowing that life has been fair.

Is there a curse spell or some form of magic that could harm those who have hurt a loved one? The worst part is that there is no recollection of what they look like or evidence anymore so there is no way of ever finding them. Is there a God out there who truly knows who they are? What about karma?

I apologise if this sounds selfish or evil in any way, I'm just so consumed with so many confusing emotions (anger, sadness, frustration), I'm on the verge of bursting into tears myself. Please help me....

[SnowCat]

Punishing or cursing the men who hurt your beloved will just perpetuate the cycle of violence. Rape isn't about sex. It's about violence and control. I urge both of you to seek counseling, probably with an emphasis on dealing with PTSD.

Snow

[Xiao Rong]

Hello Jazzwest, I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time. Supporting someone who has gone through so much trauma is such an important thing, but it's undoubtedly also very hard. I'm glad she's seeing a counselor, but you should consider doing so too. Unfortunately EUTM rules state that we won't allow posting of any curses or revenge spells, but there are plenty of alternatives out there, such as spells for healing.

[Vendredi]

I gotta say, this post hit a lot of my nerves.

I ABSOLUTELY third the advice given above, in that you yourself should look into counseling as well, to help you sort out your feelings and find acceptance.

What has happened to this woman is horrible, and I feel for her. As Snowcat said, rape isn't about sex. As a male that has seen firsthand, and actually cares about, the damage rape does, I urge you to be an ally. When men make rape jokes, or cat call, or talk about how ****able (or not) a woman is, call 'em out. Take a look at our culture, our world, and fight misogyny.

The rest, I think, is gonna be a bit abrasive. So be it.

In no particular order, here are my thoughts:

Problem #1: What this woman has been through, she chose to share with you, I reckon, because she trusted you. She trusted you to accept it, that this is part of her life, and probably shapes her view of the world and how she handles relationships, probably especially with males. I do think it's manipulative and possessive of you to co-opt her experiences and allow yourself to wallow in HER pain. That may not be intentional, but the result is the same.

Problem #2: I'm sure that, whether you've spoken to her or not of your difficulties coming to terms with HER story, she knows. That will not help her heal! Instead of focusing on helping herself, she's focused partially on herself, and partially on helping you. That's not fair. Especially since:

Problem #3: You were not in her life at the time of these events. Why are you focusing so much on the specifics of what happened? I get the feeling that:

Problem #4: Your perception is that something that belongs to you was sullied. And no. It doesn't matter how much you love another person, they belong to, and ONLY to, themselves.

I've also got to say that sometimes, no matter how much we love another person, no matter how unfair it is, relationships don't work out. Sometimes we really really really want them to, but it's not always the best thing. Sometimes one or both people need to figure stuff out without the distraction of a relationship. That's ok. (For example, AA strongly suggests not entering into new romantic relationships until a certain amount of time/ work has passed. Healing from trauma isn't the same as being a recovering addict, but I find that there are similarities.)

[AllJet]

Hi Jazzwest,

I agree with everything else that has already been said. It's a hard pill to swallow sometimes, but cursing someone else will not accomplish anything. Revenge isn't always so sweet. It will never take away the pain of what your loved one experienced. If you don't even know these people, you would never be able to see the results of your curse anyways. Trust that these people will get what's coming to them thanks to karma and the universe.

[Xiao Rong]

I feel a little conflicted because I think it's natural for people supporting survivors to want to feel like you want retribution. Recovery is a long, hard road, and sometimes it feels like you're not "doing" something. I can't tell you how many people I've met who just want to go beat someone up over it. However, I concur with Vendredi -- getting revenge won't ever fix the original problem. No amount of suffering for the perpetrators will ever really make it "right", or erase the problem. It's not fair at all, but it's a fact. And sometimes the need for vengeance get in the way of actually supporting the person right there in front of you.

[Silentfeather]

I was raped when I was a child, never has it crossed my mind to curse the one who did it, but that is because I know the Karma is real, I don't even give the person who did it any thought, too busy living my life, I'm not saying that it did not effect me in past relationships, but once I realized why I acted the way I did I started to meditate and did healing spells on myself,

[jazzwest]

Alright. Thanks guys, point taken. It comforts me enough knowing that karma exists and they will get whatever the universe thinks they deserve.