Everything Under the Moon

So this dream comes with a back story which I will get into here in a bit, but first the dream

I was with a couple old friends Adam and Luke, friends that I haven't talked too in years due to a falling out. We were hanging out and we end up going to this house and we get stuck there for a couple of days. The people that live in this house are 3 women, one of them was a girl named Crystal that I call Cheshire Cat (I actually know her in real life, and thats where the back story comes in), and I didn't know who the other two were but she knew them from college. So the dream gets a little choppy from here. Cheshire Cat and I were talking and began hanging out and her boyfriend was there too. It seemed innocent to everyone else, but I got the feeling that we both knew there was something underneath all of it that nobody else saw. We were getting closer and closer. I really don't know where my wife is in all of this, but I know that in the dream I am still married. There is a cut to a strange beach/river bank that I've been to before in my dreams. At the beach we were all talking and having fun when Cheshire Cat and someone else goes into the river and starts to drown. They don't seem like they are in danger, but I jump in and rescue them. At this point the dream cuts to the hospital where Cheshire Cat is in the hospital bed and I am there with her. I am the only one in the room and we are talking. I finally tell her that she means everything to me and we hold hands and hug. We are both in a relationship, faithfully I might add, and don't want to leave our significant others, but we know we are in love. That is where the dream ends. I think the analysis of this is probably obvious, but it goes along with the back story and my problem.

So here is the problem:

I met Cheshire Cat probably a year before I met the woman that is now my wife. We met at where I worked back then and I fell in love with her. I have had several dreams (7 different ones all recurrent to be exact) about us having a life together, but I knew that that life wouldn't be for a long time (maybe around 10 years from then). I have also seen that my first wife (the one I'm with now) will die either 7 years after we met or 7 years after we got married (there's almost a year gap there). I saw that there were things that Cheshire Cat and I needed to experience before we were together and one of those things was the death of my wife leaving me a single father. I know this may sound heartless talking about my wife like this, but it is something that I know is going to happen (she knows it too). My real dilemma is that I love my wife entirely, but I also am in love with Cheshire Cat. It has been almost 3 years since I've seen her last and we don't talk much (text I mean) anymore. I still think about her everyday an feel deeply for her. That is not to say that I don't love my wife, that's not true at all! This foreknowledge is driving me insane. I feel as though I have a huge secret and I have no one to talk to about it. I believe the time will come when I am with Cheshire Cat, but I worry that I will be living a double life until then. I suppose what I'm asking here is should I tell her? I have told her once before that I think we will end up together, but years down the road. I believe she felt the same way for me that I feel for her, but I really don't know. I know she has a boyfriend and they seem happy (I really don't know since the only way I see how shes doing is when she posts things on facebook and that isn't very often). I feel so torn about this. I don't want to leave my wife, I don't want to cheat, I don't want to ruin Cheshire Cat's relationship, I don't want to mess things up for anyone, but I really want to get this load off of my chest. Should I tell her how I feel and just lay it out in the open? I know if my wife finds out she will be upset and feel betrayed, which is also a source of guilt for me. This is just a torture really, knowing what will be, but not being able to do anything about it and having to wait years to see it all come to fruition.

Any advice anyone has will be GREATLY appreciated! Thank you.

By the way, if this sounds familiar something similar has been posted before by my screen name Sylphaxiom. I am writing this under another name because my wife likes to get on here and look at my posts and things. I know she would be very upset that I feel this way so I am trying to get this off my chest without her finding out. (don't judge me please, I am a faithful husband and thats why this bothers me so much to feel love for two people)

Ok First of all why post with a name similar to your original screen name, second if you know this is going to upset your wife why post it on a forum where she likes to visit you aren't thinking things through at all (which i know is why you are also posting for help.)

My suggestion is to leave Cheshire alone for now focus on your wife if you both feel she only has 7 or 8 years with you then why spend your time on another woman? That isn't fair to your wife at all if you can't focus your love and attention on your wife you don't need to be married to her. Don't tell Cheshire about your feelings yet now isn't the time, and mentally put her away in a box until it is time to tell her. If you feel you have to be with her and cant get her off your mind, your marriage isn't going to last much longer and you would owe it to the both of them to leave your wife now.

I understand what you're saying and I appreciate the comment, I know it isn't fair to my wife and I usually just file away my feelings because it isn't fair. I don't want to be with anyone else but my wife and I do devote myself to her. I don't mean to come off sounding bad for this, I really didn't. I love my wife and don't want to be with anyone else. And yes I did pick something similar to my name, but my objective isn't to hide, just not draw undue attention and she isn't a frequenter, just periodically looks at my posts. I realize how I said all that, did come off wrong, but that wasn't my intention. I'm faithful to my wife and love her entirely. I was merely wanting to know if I was the only one who had this sort of problem. It's a unique situation that few would understand which is why I came here, people here are more apt to understand than anyone else. My problem comes because I see what is now and what will be, but I can't always sort out the feelings from the two. The passage of time has an odd sort of ebb and flow and when things meet, it causes ripples that are hard to tell apart. I just have my moments when I have trouble discerning the two.

Are you in love with the other person, ir in love with the idea of being in love with the other person? Pay attention to your current relationship. If things are meant to happen, they will.

Frosty