War on the Censor: the Internal Spiritual Conflict Within...

[kietero]

I've been studying magic for quite some time now, and I've been having a constant conflict with the internal censor - that which prevents magical perception by infusing the magician/witch with "reason" and "logic," and instills doubts as to whether or not a ritual or magical spell is working or not.

I've found that sleep-deprivation for at least a full 26 hours helps to knock down this wall. This isn't healthy, and usually leads me to forgetfulness if I've got to perform a ritual that requires focus and attention on a specific goal.

Sometimes I can induce a gnosis trance after performing a Kabbalistic Cross ritual, and I'm able to knock out the world around me. But oftentimes, I also forget to do a banishing ritual, and I end up screwing myself in the end

Not good.

I'd like to be able to find a way to naturally eliminate the censor, so that I don't have to try so hard. The way my life is set up is a difficult situation and I'm finding it hard to combat the censor without totally losing focus - the focus that I need to complete a specific task. It conflicts with specific instructions I receive from ethereals/entities/and angels/demons that I need to obey and listen to in order to complete a magical ritual (I avoid the term "spell" if I can - not a traditional witch, sorry )

Has anyone here had any luck with defeating this censor of the self to the point where they don't have to try so hard anymore? And if so, can you can give me some tips as to what I can do to put it down either on direct command or permanently?

[The Judge]

On command, maybe, permanently, bad idea. You will need logic and reason in everyday life or you may be talked into doing illogical things. I just find something to read or do that is safe yet entirely illogical, argue with myself about it and eventually I run out of logic to use on the debate. This is kinda exhaustive in the way of mental energy though. This drains my logic to a dull roar that is easily ignored, though at times I find it useful for other things in ritual and spell use, logic is not an enemy just a concerned friend, bend your logic to spells and ritual and it will help more than hinder, this however takes a while to accomplish. Just my ideas.

Blessed Be,:D
The Judge

[SpiritTalker]

The only suggestion I can make (to anyone reading this after 8 years) is to tune in to your higher mind, your soul-voice. There's many ways to do that. Learn to recognize it alone. It's advise will prove itself. The way I learned it was thru contemplative prayer. Thomas Merton is the author I found helpful but there's no gimmicks. The itty bitty committee still chatters like magpies but you tune out their senseless noise & seek the soul's voice & accept nothing less. That voice is seldom what you expect. It knows all your earth bound tricks & laughs good-naturedly at them. It out smarts all pre-set expectations. I'm bullheaded & that helps me focus I think.