How to avoid self-deception?

[Oura Simone]

So, I'm only just starting to explore witchcraft. I'm not very deep into it, but so far I'm getting a lot of "everybody does it their own way, everyone has their own truths, do what feels right to you," etc.

In a way, that's great. This is already how I'm living my life. I always trust my intuition. It has rarely ever mislead me.

As I'm starting to explore witchcraft, my intuition is already telling me what practices/deities/spells/etc may or may not work for me. It's already nudging me in certain directions and away from others.

But spirituality in general is very unfamiliar to me, and I'm suddenly feeling very insecure... how do I know that this isn't just me (or my subconsciousness) telling me what I want to hear? If I'm to become a spiritual person, I want it to be substantial, I want it to be something "real", for lack of a better term. I don't want to end up in an echo chamber where I'm just telling myself nice platitudes. I don't need self-deception, or wish fulfillment, or power fantasies.

Am I making sense? Do any of you folks relate to this problem, and how do you differentiate between something "real", and something that you merely wish to be "real" (but actually isn't, if you're being 100% honest with yourself)?

Thanks in advance!

[Corbin]

Don't think there are any wrong steps on the journey just a learning curve - intuition and conscience are the highest guides we possess, allow yourself the opportunity to make mistakes while learning to trust your intuition.

Everyone is different. Personally? Perhaps approach it like an actor would to a role - be totally aware of its reality while within it, yet be able to step outside it. It is still an acceptable and way of working. "Hard" Disbelief however is a damp squib.

The protean cloud of spirit, somewhere between defined and undefined; "real" and "unreal" is where magic happens - without belief you will struggle to practice magic, without being able to step outside 'belief', unable to practice discernment. One foot in, one foot out the faerie ring, not lost in it.

Perhaps set aside defining any parameters to the word and concept of "real" (hell, any limitations at all) and substitute them for a simple ethos of practical magic - "does it work?"

To quote psychologist Fritz Perls "Art is real yet Art is also Maya (illusion)". Fritz, when speaking about psychological constructs said they must be treated as absolutely real for then to have any ability to engender change. Real = effect.

Magic is an art.

[Corbin]

Also ... ... it could be argued that a spiritual awakening evolves from the gradual stripping away illusions - the material layers (or self-deceptions) ... a destination not a starting point. The discomfort and doubt you feel starting a deliberate spiritual journey is perhaps not only appropriate but very healthy ... yet we all need to make our "leaps of faith", face our own trials.

One of the greatest self-deceptions is talking yourself out of something before it has even happened. Take a risk - what do we really have to lose but our chains.

Be blessed

[SnowCat]

I think by asking the question, you're already ahead of the game in avoiding self-deception. It can be really easy to believe that every unusual thought comes from some "special source." I still question whether what I'm feeling is a nudge from somewhere, or just something my idle mind came up with. Discernment takes practice, and we don't always get it right.

Snow

[moonraingirl]

Snow cat put it well. The fact that you are asking that question is a way to find out the truth.
I struggle with it myself constantly. It is a part of healthy spirituality. If you study lives of great mystics, you'll find out that while they did believe strongly, they were also doubting, insecure, suffering from spiritual drought. Dark night of the soul, as John of the cross calls it.

Perhaps a good way to differentiate your own thoughts and spiritual voices could be to study psychology and how the brain works. That way you can become familiar with common ways our own brain deceives us and you will be better able to differenciate. Also look for physical proofs of your intuition. If for example the voice predicts the future accurately, then you can learn to recognise that voice again and you will be able to tell it apart from your thoughts.

[Oura Simone]

Thank you, everybody who has answered so far. I guess I'm just not really used to the whole "wrestling with religion" thing, having had none for so long.

Perhaps set aside defining any parameters to the word and concept of "real" (hell, any limitations at all) and substitute them for a simple ethos of practical magic - "does it work?"

Ok, yeah, that seems reasonable.

To quote psychologist Fritz Perls "Art is real yet Art is also Maya (illusion)". Fritz, when speaking about psychological constructs said they must be treated as absolutely real for then to have any ability to engender change. Real = effect.

Magic is an art.

This is helpful. I'm a lot more sure-footed in the world of art than in the world of spirituality. Drawing parallels might be a useful tool for me.


[edit: changed my mind about adding an off-topic thingy]

[Corbin]

(More personal ramblings) When you consider people's pantheons and spiritual paradigm's it may also be useful to think of them as people's individual styles and "palettes".

Try to avoid two mistakes though - the first is expectation; because things will develop at their own pace so enjoy (or find joy) on the ride - there must be short term goals as well as long term ones ... and predestination; deciding where you are going before you get there and ergo limiting your potential and the potential for new things to come into your life which are essential for growth.

As for defining "Spirit"; it is protean in nature OR is "processed" by our minds which are very unique to each individual thereby imperfect filters containing thier own symbols and landscape. It's not a matter of deception but of limitations in perception and understanding them the best we can.

Ultimately the most important thing of all I believe is creating a "connection"; a compact between the individual and the infinite, the known and unknown - it overrides all other "window-dressing"; methods or techniques - find what works for you as an individual to connect inwardly and outwardly to life. When you are in "the sweet spot" life flows - you know you are going in the right direction if you will feel within this flow.

[SpiritTalker]

I think the most frequent pitfall of spiritual paths is our own egos. This kind of self deception is hard to spot in ourselves, but glaringly obvious to those around us. When something righteously offends our sensibilities, a good way to handle it is to ask ourselves why such-and-so bugs us. "Why am I bothered by (insert situation)?" I think of it as an ego-recording playing back a script. When the perception changes, when we find the cause within ourselves, the "bug" is gone. So along this same line of thinking (and getting to the point), asking "why am I hearing/seeing X?" again puts the emphasis on identifying hidden desires of the ego. When we honestly cannot claim the ego is asserting itself, then we can open to the new reality with trust.

[Kassandra]

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I hate it when by the time I read a post, everybody's said what I would have said, so all I could do is say, "Yeah, what they said." Lol

I guess I would just third SnowCat's comment (though I would also agree with a lot of the other great points and suggestions made) along the lines that just your asking yourself this question probably signifies a justified concern for authenticity, and that's a really good sign, in my opinion. It's the "I'm a great shaman, no one can tell me anything, so don't argue with me, you people!" weirdos that come on here that should be worried (but of course, they aren't...cause they know it all ). Just from what little I've read of what you've written, you strike me as someone who wouldn't be satisfied with going along with what you wanted to hear, that you've probably never been that way. Just that you are aware, and rather disdain platitudes, self-deception, wish fulfillment, and power fantasies, is a really good thing.

For me, I have discovered over the years there tend to be little ways that help me gauge whether or not I'm going in the right direction. For instance, when I do a reading on a situation in my own life (I always do a reading, or have someone else do a reading for me, before diving into any spell work on a situation --I can't emphasize that enough), often it will suggest a direction I didn't think to go in. It might reveal an insight that I didn't already see, that is new to me, I'll get that aha moment. And it might not be an insight that I like, or agree with, or even want to know. But, it will be an insight nonetheless, and I have learned not to ignore red flags and such. Other times, the read might confirm a direction I had a sense that I should go in, but wasn't sure, even urge me quite emphatically to take action to a fuller extent than what I had planned, that the situation is more serious than I could see from my limited vantage point (I'm experiencing that right now about a situation, and I really don't want to do the strong magic it seems I need to do to resolve it, but...).

However, there have been times where upon reflection, I determined it was, indeed, my ego that was guiding me, and that's usually when I've been very angry about something. I just want to strike back, just reacting irrationally, a dangerous thing to do (that's why I suggest "Pausing and Reflecting" with magic in my Book of Favs). Moonraingirl suggested learning a little psychology, at least some basic principles if nothing else. On that note, I learned that anger is just a secondary emotion, and "beneath" it so to speak, will be the real feeling one is feeling, which more often than not, is hurt. I've learned to use my anger as a head's up to explore where some hurt inside me might be coming from, what its origin might be. But then, conversely, there is a time to protect yourself, too, and just because you're feeling hurt, doesn't mean that's a bad thing and you shouldn't draw a strong boundary that needs drawing, and maintain it.

You say, Oura Simone, your intuition hasn't failed you in the past, and that now it seems to be guiding you toward what you should and shouldn't practice in your personal witchcraft journey. Yet, you also say you are unfamiliar with spirituality. To me, however, what you've described is "spirituality." To me, spirituality shouldn't be as intellectualized as I see some people make it, and witch craft is a means to an end, not the end itself, just a tool. It is secondary to your soul's energy, which is what's important. When people are just coming from their head space, rather than their heart space, to me it begs the question, what are they trying to avoid feeling? What are they protecting? Why don't they want anything to get close to within them?

It seems to me your head and your heart are working in conjunction with each other, and that's great. In my opinion, that's the way it should be. I don't think you'll ever have a problem with inauthenticity.




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[SnowCat]

Some days I feel very intelligent, I have it all figured out. Then I do something like gouging my arm with rusty dirty nails while cleaning the garage. I get to go have a DPT vaccination today, because my last tetanus shot was in 1997. The universe has a way of keeping us in line. It's the same with self deception. It catches up with you.

[Kassandra]

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Lol, it really does.



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[Oura Simone]

Thanks, Kassandra, for your thoughtful post! A lot of what you write makes sense to me.

Interesting what you said about "readings", I didn't think about that before. If you say "reading", do you mean divination? I actually intend to buy myself a Tarot deck and get into that; maybe I can make a habit of doing a Tarot reading before I attempt any kind of magic.

[HopefulChild]

WoW I love this topic! Thank you for posting it. It seems very topical to me at the moment as I'm being shy about using divination or magic to move forward with our big dream of home ownership. I don't want to convince myself we've got it in the bag thanks to my janky half-butt candle spell only to be heartbroken when they point out silly stuff like..you have no money...your credit score is only slightly higher than the presidents IQ...we won't give you a loan for a bag of chips let alone a whole house.

I still struggle with this in relation to Tarot. SO subjective. It's easy to flip over some cards and say, "Yeah man see, this spread agrees that you need those swiss precision wood chisels to improve your wand making"..sooooo easy.

So hard to look at it and read "Hmm. It's obvious from this spread that I want them...but that card is asking me to weigh the real value versus my want and to decide if the investment is worthwhile"...

I've answered No so far....rickin frackin no good stingy cards.

I know what I worry about the most is giving my impulses, or wishful thinking, a pathway for self justification. That is self deception, and that lets you make reasonable arguments for unreasonable things or reasons..at that point you are just playing make believe as an excuse to do whatever you want. And that scares me.

[SnowCat]

I used a simple money jar spell when we were facing foreclosure. I did lots of boring dreary mundane paper pushing too. The spell was kind of my visual aid for what we were trying to do. The slogging through piles of paper, and appearing in court to plead our case probably had the most effect, but I figured generating some good vibes didn't hurt. Anything you do, magic or mundane, requires that you put in the effort.

I think, HopefulChild, that your efforts are helping your discernment, which will in turn, help your road to home ownership.

Snow