Connection Problems

[Aesiryth]

I'm back! I feel like I haven't been on the forum for a while, but anyway I have a problem.

Recently, I have been doing protection spells, luck/fortune spells, love spells, etc. I have tried making my own spells and using others, but I don't feel any connection. I feel like my spells aren't working and that I'm just praying to nothing. Like I've been cut off. I don't know why, I usually don't do spells that often, but I've been trying to make my own lately and as soon as I started I got this. I've also been depressed and have had suicidal thoughts, not extreme or anything though. I do plan on seeing a counselor for these issues, but I find it odd that these start along with the lack of connection. Not being able to sleep and when I do I wake up minutes later. I'm a bit of a train wreck right now. Hopefully a few of you have some insight on this.

Thanks
-Aesiryth

[MsMollimizz]

Aesiryth,
I went thru a time when I don't really feel connected,
I think others may have also ???
I think of it as plateau where the info we've ingested
finds its way to where it can be of use to us...then
we ingest more info and the loop continues on and on.
Deep connection to the Goddess may help you with
your other problem. She makes one feel alive !
I hope you find what you are looking for soon...
May the Goddess bless and keep you in her loving
energy 'til you find your peace
Gentle Light
MsMollimizz

[Blackthorn]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time, Aesiryth. When I was 19, I had a very traumatic experience and it was difficult for me to connect with myself and my spirituality during that time (and the fallout that lasted a few years). I felt severed from my inner self. I had to work with professionals to help me through my trauma, and to grow. I'm very glad to hear you're going to see a counselor to help with your depression. In my opinion, your focus should be on healing yourself. Maybe you are feeling drained of energy, and this is why your spells have been ineffective. In any case, please feel better and remember you have a community here to support you.

[Vesca]

I have found that there are generally two reasons behind my phases of feeling "disconnected."

One is when I'm spending too much time trying to "do" and "create" things, instead of enjoying the moment and experiencing everyday life (which provides the empathic connection because you aren't shutting the world out in an effort to create something of your own).

The other are those times when it's important that I work on my everyday life (work, taking care of everyday non-magical challenges, family, etc...) and I take it as a gentle reminder that there are other things in the world too that require attention.

Perhaps it's simply time to take a little bit of a breather and see what inspiration the world brings to your awareness.

[Aesiryth]

Thanks for the input guys! Vesca, I do think that I have problems with both reasons and maybe I can try thinking about them more often so I can make better connections. I will definitely try taking all of your guys' advice and hopefully they'll work!

Thanks again for the advice!
-Aesiryth