It's Peter. Don't get me wrong- I adore him. He's a great friend to me, and has been since I met him a few years ago. He's a brilliant actor and all-around nice guy.
Last night was opening night for "The Nerd". It went well, it really did. But right before we started the show, Peter gave me some heart-breaking news. He told me that this is his last play. He told me, quote, "I'm growing up, I guess. I have to get a job. Go to college. Pay the bills."
It was pretty sad. I remember leaving the room really quickly and trying not to cry.
You may think that I'm over-reacting, but consider this-
When I first came to that theater, I was eight years old. I was also friendless, and terribly shy. However, the people in that play accepted me more openly than I've ever known. Over the next few years, they became like a second family; they made me feel less alone in the world.
Then one by one, they're doing exactly what Peter is doing- growing up. One by one, they all left. All without a goodbye or a reason. They launched careers, went to college, etc... and I haven't seen any of them since.
Peter is one of the last of the "good ol' crowd". Now he's leaving, too. I keep flashing back to all of the memories....writing messages to each other on the light-booth wall; dancing and singing old 80's tunes with each other; laughing so, SO hard, over nothing at all...the kind of laughter that makes you fall over, the kind that sounds ridiculous but you're so happy that you don't even care. I flash back to all of our weird conversations...the kind of conversations that I could never really have with anyone else. About silly things like interpretive dance, and Chinese food, and Scottish accents....(it sauhnds lahk yoor chokin' on yer own cat's tail, lassie!)
And then I think about how, when he goes, our rickety patched-up friendship will fall away completely. Just like the last of my childhood friends, "second family...and they're all gone.
It saddens me greatly, so much that it hurts.
I can't keep writing this, I think I'm going to cry....I'm really sorry if you think I'm being over emotional. I probably am. But I don't expect anyone except me to understand.
On the bright side, look at the flier that I made for the play...
From left to right- Jake Smith, Peter Cowley, Joe Reichlin
(And do me a favor, if you know any of these people, please don't tell them about this...awkwardness waiting to happen.)